In Part 1 of this blog series, I provided some guidance based on my own networking experience, and then provided a real-life summary of my application of purposeful networking in Part 2. Now, I’ll go through some of what NOT to do when networking. An inspiration for this series was the book Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty, a good book for those who need guidance or reminders about purposeful networking. The “well” is a great symbol for a network – a tool that provides you with access to a valuable resource. But like any tool, how you use it is important for making it work. Some things that can make it less than useful: Digging your well in the wrong place: your networking efforts cannot be effective if you’re going to events or connecting with people without any basis for connection. If you want to build your network with purpose, start in places and with people where the connections will be meaningful. Water with no well: it’s not enough just to make connections; you have to be able to maintain them, linking them in to the rest of your network. If you meet new people, then don’t follow-up with them in any meaningful way, you may find that you have met a lot of people, but don’t know any of them. A well with no water: part of keeping your network purposeful and active is continuing to grow it and keeping people engaged with it. You might have a kick-ass website or LinkedIn page, but if no one ever connects with it, it’s not serving it’s purpose. Water in the well but no bucket: it might be a great well, with lovely water, but if you can’t get anything out of it, it’s not very useful. How do you get things out of your network if there’s no way to interact with it? Make sure you have a good mechanism for interacting. (Aside – this is a problem with my current website platform – not a very good bucket.) A well that you keep to yourself: as described earlier, your network needs to be able to grow, and works best when those in your network can also be part of each other’s networks. Your network needs to open and accessible to those within it, and to others who may want to connect with it. This doesn’t mean it’s completely open (you don’t want it to dry up), so having some controlled access is okay. After all, this is purposeful networking, not name collecting. A well that’s too big (too much work to maintain) or too small (not enough water to keep you hydrated): as with other things, the Goldilocks Principle applies here – your network should be just the right size for you. As big as makes sense for your purpose, small enough that you can still maintain its purpose. So what are some tools to build your well? I use a few social media platforms, but I try to be careful in using them for what I consider their purpose. I use Facebook to connect with friends and family; because I consider that to be more personal, I limit the number of connections I have (99 friends), and take care with my security settings to keep it that way. I use Twitter less frequently, mostly for quick distribution of things I think others might be interested in, to maintain a presence in that platform, and for some self-promotion. I also maintain two websites: robynroscoe.com is for stuff about me, and lyricmgmt.com is specifically about my company and its services; I maintain social media accounts for both of these, to extend their reach and prevent cyber-squatting. The platform I recommend most for networking for work and career is LinkedIn. A very quick bit of online research showed me that there are few alternatives that offer the same functionality as LinkedIn (and several of the ones I tried were actually no longer active – wells that have dried up)[i]. I use LinkedIn to stay connected with professional colleagues: former and current co-workers, new connections from meetings and conferences, mentors and mentees. As such, my LinkedIn network is much larger (474 connections) than my Facebook one. I also use the platform market myself (my blog posts) and my connections (sharing and liking posts by others), which is a great way to add value to your network and give it purpose: people can see that it is valuable to be connected to you if you help get their messages out to a broader audience (your network) and if you post things that are generally of interest to your connections. An underutilized feature of LinkedIn is the Recommendations section. You can ask people in your network to write a recommendation for you, and it will be posted on your page for others to see. Like your connections, recommendations should be real and meaningful. They should describe something real – a past project, a previous job – and be clear about the connection between you and the writer. The Skills Endorsement lists can also be useful, but can get less so if your lists are too long; again, make sure these are real and meaningful. LinkedIn is a platform for professional interactions, so it’s not the place for recipes, quizzes, vacation photos, or political rants. While you may have close relationships with some of your LinkedIn contacts, save your more personal sharing with those people for another platform. Whichever method or platform you choose, keep your networking purposeful. Ensure that your connections are meaningful and real. And remember: the purpose of the well is not to have a well. The purpose of the well is to have access to water when we need it. [i] ResearchGate is an alternative specific for scientific interactions. This may be appropriate for you if you’re building up a collaborator network or seeking work or connections in academia. I don’t know much about this platform, but if science is your bag, then perhaps check this out. www.researchgate.net.
0 Comments
One of the steps to achieving a purposeful network is to, well, network. A common opportunity is a networking event – usually a reception of some kind, with people mingling over finger food and hovering around a cash bar. Conferences almost always have one at the beginning of the event – a welcome reception where all attendees are encouraged to congregate and mix with their colleagues and meet new people. For those with less-than-extroverted personalities or who are newish to their field, these events are daunting – a sea of people in loose conglomerations of familiarity, a noisy and (depending on how long the event has been open) boisterous crowd, an unwelcoming assemblage of mostly unfamiliar faces, perhaps even some famous folks. But look closely and you’ll also see kindreds – individuals with a plate or a drink, shyly moving around and outside the crowds, looking just like you feel: like they’d rather be anywhere else, thinking when can they reasonably leave. One of the elements of purposeful networking I described in Part 1 was goal setting. When attending a networking event, make a plan and have some goals. Like any good project plan, these will enable to you spend your time at the event purposefully, and to know when you’re done. I applied this approach at a recent conference. Before arriving, I prepared by making myself knowledgeable about the who and what of the event. For the who, I reviewed the list of attendees and made note of people I knew and people that I wanted to meet (always with the “give to get” principle in mind). Then I reviewed the agenda, and noted which events I was going to be attending and who the presenters were for those. I didn’t memorize these, but I was familiar enough with them that I felt I could remember names and connections. For the networking event (officially, the welcome reception), my goals were to meet four people:
At the welcome reception, I was able to achieve all four of these objectives. Right away, I saw someone from my “home” and said hello and chatted briefly about travel to the conference, the accommodations, the sessions we were looking forward to, the status of some work we were both involved in, other people that we were anticipating seeing at the conference. Next, I saw some of the conference organizing team talking together; I knew a few of them, but not all, so at a break in the conversation I said hello to the people I knew, and was introduced to the others. I had different connections with these people – the conference but also shared activities like teaching and mentoring – so the talk was no longer small. After a while, I moved on to mingle. I walked through the room and around the outside of the main tables and circles. There was a woman standing on her own; she had a hand-written name tag, which I knew meant she was a late-registrant. I went over to her and initially we talked about what we both were in that moment: wallflowers. Although I’d been actively connecting for the past 20 minutes, I was taking a break and found a like-minded person. Turned out, she had only recently moved to Canada and was exploring career options in our field. As luck would have it, I’d just been speaking with someone who was looking for resources in her field, and did she want to meet them? Yes, please! We moved through the crowd to where I’d been talking with connections new and old just a few minutes previously. I introduced my new connection to the one who was looking for resources, and was clear about why I thought they’d be interested in one another. We all chatted for a while, learning about each others backgrounds, experience, needs, and opinions, and established good connections. After a while, I excused myself, and after a few more minutes of mingling…I left. Mission accomplished, in 45 minutes. Having written all this out, I realize that it sounds cold and predatory – targeting specific types of people to check-off a to-do list, and getting out as quickly as possible. But it is only the how, not the why. Having a plan and a list of goals is a tool to accomplishing purposeful networking, but you still need to ensure that the connections you make are real and meaningful, or they really don’t “count” as connections. And the goal is NOT be to get through this as quickly as possible, but to be efficient and comfortable – while this may not be fun, it shouldn’t be tortuous. Some other tips:
All of this is active well-digging – building and maintaining your network, keeping it active, and giving it purpose. In my next post, I’ll give some examples of poor networking approaches, and discuss LinkedIn as a tool for networking. Network (v.): to join things in an informally interconnected association of persons. When I was first exploring my newly identified strength as a connector, a connection told me about the book “Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty.” While I didn’t find the book entirely engaging, the book title provided a useful mantra for networking, and over the past year I’ve been more consciously connecting and building and maintaining my network. The act of networking typically causes negative feelings – fear, avoidance, revulsion. Indeed, the idea of meeting or connecting with people solely to have more people that you can say that you “know” is counter-intuitive to introverts, and can seem superficial and pointless to most people. Purposeful networking is about creating a true community, a lifelong resource where the connections are real, meaningful and mutually beneficial. A purposeful network is not just a big network. A long list of connections on LinkedIn or Twitter is not a network – it’s a scrapbook. How many of those connections even remember when you met or how they know you? A true connection doesn’t have to be a friend, but it should be someone who remembers more than just your name; they should remember who you are and how you are part of their network. Because if they are part of your network, you are also part of theirs. Purposeful networking ensures that you stay that way. Here are some ideas to help give your networking purpose and make your connections real: Give to get – connections have to be based on mutual benefit. Even if the benefit for one person is more immediate and obvious (“please introduce me to your boss”), the other has to believe in the potential for a future benefit. So in your conversation, always be looking for opportunities to add value to them; the opportunities for yourself will naturally follow. Set goals – typical networking events involve two things that most people (including me) loathe: mingling and small talk. While that feeling of dread as you enter the bustling room full of people at a conference never really goes away, setting some goals about who and how many connections you will meet gives you both something to focus on, and a natural “out” – once you’ve achieved your goals, you’re free to leave if you want to, mission accomplished. I did this at a recent conference, and it made the welcome reception both successful and manageable (in part 2 of this topic, I’ll list my goals and describe how I achieved them). Quality over quantity – review your lists of contacts on social media, with a view to keeping it purposeful. Reconnect with some people that you’ve perhaps neglected, and delete people from the list that are no longer purposeful – for either you or them; if you can’t remember how you know them, they likely can’t either, so it’s time to go. You might think about applying Dunbar’s Number theory here, and consider this network to be the Acquaintance level (~500 people). I do this myself fairly regularly, on all of my social media platform. Follow-up – once you’ve met someone who you can purposefully network with, follow-up with them. If you discussed something that they expressed an interest in, email them a link about that. If they mentioned something you’re interested in learning more about, email them to ask for more info. And especially if they invite you to email them, EMAIL THEM. You can also invite them to connect on a professional social media site such as LinkedIn. Maintain the network – don’t be a stalker, but also don’t let a connection get too cold. You don’t have to email and connect with everyone all the time, but work to keep connections real and active. Especially for key contacts, make an appointment for yourself to reconnect with someone a few months down the road. All of this networking, this well-digging, has a purpose: making sure you’re prepared for when you get thirsty. The network – and not the connections – is the well. Building and maintaining your network, even when you don’t need it, ensures that it’s there when you do. There’s a certain karmic element to this: you may not always get something from all of your connections, but if you are purposeful and consistent (“mindful” to use last year’s buzzword) you will get as much or more out of your network as you put in. And it is the network – not just the connections – that is the well. Next post, I’ll go through an example of my networking experience at a recent conference. In a third post, I’ll give some examples of poor networking approaches, and discuss LinkedIn as a tool for networking. It happens to everyone. You’ll be in a meeting or working on a project, and someone will say something that, to you, sounds like a criticism of your work, or of you specifically. Perhaps it happens in a meeting with a group, looking at a challenge or crisis on the project. Despite your project management work to date, someone says, “we really need to start managing this project.” You think, “wait. What the heck do you think I’ve BEEN doing?” The feeling can be very distracting. You find after a few minutes that you haven’t been paying attention. You feel a bit flushed, a cross between angry and embarrassed. The conversation has moved on, but you have not – that sentence and those feelings linger beyond the meeting and the day. Sometimes, this can lead to or feed into Imposter Syndrome. Most professionals experience this at one time or another, sometimes often: the feeling that, despite all evidence to the contrary – like your career progress, position, recognition, and other success – you really don’t know what you’re doing and it’s just a matter of time till everyone else recognizes it. This feeling is quite common – I’ve heard from friends and colleagues in all fields and at all levels that, every now and then, they fully expect to be found out and asked to leave. Like being unmasked a party they haven’t been invited to. There is plenty of online guidance about getting past that feeling, but not so much about dealing with a pointed comment. It’s easy to say, “let it go”, but getting past a back-handed criticism can be difficult, especially if it is out of the blue and, in your own estimation, uncalled for. Here’s a few tips on getting past the feeling, getting to the root of the comment, and getting back to your productive self. Consider the speaker’s perspective. It’s entirely possible that they were having a bad day, and you just happened to walk into the line of fire. That doesn’t make the comments and impact okay, but it does make it understandable. Who hasn’t had a bad day, or been in a difficult spot, and said something that afterwards they might want to take back. I know I have. When I recognize it, I always try to follow-up and apologize; even if it’s months later, and the other person says they don’t remember it, I do and I feel better for having taken it back. It’s also possible the person DOESN’T know what you’ve been doing. Research and project managers are often behind-the-scenes people, making things happen and removing barriers such that the project personnel don’t really know what they’re doing, just that things are going well. When a problem or crisis occurs, project management is identified as the solution. Reading it like that, the comment can be seen positively – project management has helped in other areas so maybe it can help here. It could also be a comment of support. If you’ve been having some challenges within the team implementing project management approaches or getting some team members to follow processes, the comment (especially if from a leader) can be heard as, “if you guys just listened to the project manager, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” These may seem overly-positive rationalizations, but they are legitimate possibilities when it comes to such a comment. Get an outside perspective. Discuss it with someone who wasn’t there. Although you’ll just be representing your own perspective, describe the situation and comment to a trusted colleague, coach or mentor. They can listen without judgement, and talk you through the possible whys and wherefores of the instance. They can also remind of you other better circumstances, that make this negative experience a true anomaly. Is this the first and only negative thing in 3 years of working with this person? Is it isolated to a specific item rather than a generalization of overall performance? Is it based in a misunderstanding? Look carefully at your own perspective. In any situation of conflict, it is important to consider all perspectives, and to keep the focus on the work rather than on the person or personalities. That includes you. Consider the comment and circumstances and ask: is there any truth at all to it? Is there anything you could be doing differently to ensure that your contributions and challenges are understood? Perhaps you’ve been taking on too much to be able to do your best? Or perhaps you’ve not been making it known just how much you are doing already; to quote Addison DeWitt in All About Eve, “It is just as false not to blow your horn at all as it is to blow it too loudly.” Consider the venue and context. Be sure that the emphasis and overall message is what you think it is. Perhaps you misheard, or misunderstood. Maybe your own perspective added emphasis or meaning where there wasn’t any. This is not about blaming yourself, but it is important to be sure you’ve accounted for and owned any contribution that you’ve made to the situation. Take real opportunities to learn and improve, while focusing on your strengths. Put it all in perspective. Ask yourself if this is a stand-alone comment, or something you’ve heard before. If the latter, see above about your own perspective. More likely, it was an off-hand, one-off comment. If all or most of the feedback to you has been positive, then put this latest in balance with that. Be sure to evaluate the feedback appropriately - don't dismiss it but don't make it mean everything. Keep it in proportion to other feedback as well as your own evaluation of your work and relationships. Think about it, talk about it, learn from it, and then move on. Be hard on the issue and soft on the person*. This includes being respectful with yourself about a situation, considering the perspectives of others, and giving the issue the attention and concern that are appropriate, which may be very little. Think carefully before allowing an anomalous comment to drive your behaviour or change your work. If what you’ve been doing to date has been successful, you’ll be chasing the wind if you respond too strongly or quickly to a criticism that was not constructive. Keep your eye on the real goal - the success of the project. Keeping one person happy - even the boss - should not come at the expense of the project or work, because if that fails, then everyone is unhappy. The goal should always be to keep the project on track, be respectful and balanced to everyone (including yourself), and maintaining a balanced perspective. * I first heard this phrase in ~1997 from one of the VPs where I worked. As best as I can tell, the original expression comes from Dr. Henry Cloud. Jon Mertz elaborates on it further in the context of conflict resolution. The expression is sometimes stated as, "be soft on the people, and hard on the problem." As I’ve written about previously, there is no shortage of self-assessment tools on wide internet sea. Most work the same way – a series of multiple choice questions that you are to select from quickly, with the results then tabulated and calculated in some secret way to reveal to you…your spirit animal, the colour of your soul, your drag queen name. Most of these quizzes are brief and intended for fun, and very few I’m sure are peer-reviewed or have any basis in science or psychology. I’m an inveterate quiz-taker, I confess. I’ve also participated in more serious and significant assessments – tests rather than quizzes, with some actual science behind them. Myers-Briggs (ISFJ), Herrmann Whole Brain (1-1-1-1), Birds of a Feather (Dove), Insights Discovery (Supporter-Helper with hints of Creativity and Coordination), Focus Project Management (earth green), and Birkman (hard to explain, but consistent with the others). In 25 years of working and test taking, my basic self is pretty much the same – I like planning, taking care of colleagues, and getting stuff done. So, it’s no surprise that, when my coach gave me a book that was one big test, I was keen. I waited till I had time to read and do it well (on vacation). Part of our work together last year included building on strengths, and so the book was about that: StandOut by Marcus Buckingham, author of previous works on identifying and building on strengths (appropriately called “StrengthsFinder”). The book itself is not riveting – the writing style would best be described as “motivational” – but the learning experience for me was also just that: motivational. After reading through the background and overview, with the standard, “there are no wrong answers” and "just be yourself", I went online, entered my code, took the test (yes, more multiple choice questions), and then waited for my report to arrive by email. The results are in: my primary strength is Equalizer. Level-headed, honest, decisive, consistent. Driven by, “what is the right thing to do?”. Helping others, seeking fair solutions, bringing structure and security to the team and work and home. Sounds about right. My secondary strength is Connector. Wait, what? I read through the nine Strength Roles, and didn’t connect with Connector. What I read initially sounded much like a salesperson, an advanced networker, a mover-and-shaker - more taker than giver. I knew people like that, and it was not a skill I admired or a strength I wanted to build. So I flipped through the other ones, and decided on one I liked better. I decided my secondary strength was Advisor.
And this is part of the danger of testing in general – what I’ll call Strengths Envy. It happens when we take an online test, when we get told that our spirit animal is a goat instead of a tiger, or that our soul is beige instead of bright green. The online tests protect us a bit from that by hiding the alternatives – you only get to see what you are, not what you aren’t. Want to be a different animal? Take the test again (complete with all its advertising and cookies and spam). With StandOut, you get to read about all nine strengths roles, and can covet what you are not, or at least a strength you feel more comfortable or confident in. However, one should put their faith in the science and psychology. Mr. Buckingham and his colleagues put a great deal of science into their test and their results, so it’s somewhat hubristic of me to say that they got me wrong. And there’s little point in doing the testing and the learning if you’re not going to, well, learn. The idea behind focusing on strengths is not just to avoid focusing on weaknesses (or “growing edges” as they’re more positively called). Weaknesses are areas for improvement that involve more significant work and change and learning, or sometimes just more control. Strengths are not areas you need or want to change, but because they are things you’re already good at, you can make them a bit better with just a little effort and attention. And it makes sense – people who are already really good at something (singing, writing, cooking, teaching) stay good at it through practice and continuous development. So I revisited Connector, and after some considering (and some considerate coaching) recognized that it is a strength, just not a obvious one which is likely why it is not my primary strength. As a Connector, I recognize opportunities in relationships: opportunities to learn, to enhance, and to connect – to bring people together to make stuff better and get stuff done. Once I started paying attention to my relationships, I saw that I did bring people together in ways they may not have recognized as possible themselves. And by recognizing it, I could then consciously maintain and build that strength, without slipping into the slick salesman shtick I found so unappealing in my first impression of Connector. I also thought about the people I knew who I felt exemplified the best elements of Equalizer and Connector, and connected with them. For as much as I recognized in others the things I didn’t want to be (which is the first step in development), I also saw strengths in others that I wanted to emulate. I’m working through that list now, talking with others about ways in which they can and do make those strengths their own and picking up new ways to strengthen my strengths. The book itself? As I said, it’s not going to win literature prizes any time soon. But, for the insights and development opportunities that came from it, I would recommend it, recognizing that, like any development tool, it delivers as many questions as it does answers. And it doesn’t do the work – you do. |
Who is Robyn?
My career as a research project manager is rewarding, dynamic, challenging, and fun. I'm looking forward to sharing my knowledge and experience in communication, organization, and common sense approaches in research management and leadership, and to enabling others to learn and grow in this exciting career. Categories
All
Archives
September 2023
|